Power Of Positive Talk

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.




My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.
I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did. fall.





My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.





This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.





My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.




Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.
Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.




The point is made.




If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.




If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."
People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.




My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.






Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.
So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."



If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue.



Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.

Ø Try: Presupposes failure.

Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.

Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener..

Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.

Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)

Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.

Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.



Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"
Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"



Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

How to become a leader

To be a leader or achiever in any field, you must ‘Think Big’. There is a shortage of leaders and people who have the ability to ‘Think Big’. If you spend time to develop such unique characteristics then you ought to become a leader. We would become a valuable commodity indeed. There are lots of differences between the big thinker and small thinker.

Here are some obvious differences:

Thinking Small:

1.Think of excuses
2.Panics
3.Criticizes those around them.
4.Bears a grudge
5.Easily sidetracked
6.Try to divide people
7.Loses control of emotions
8.Loses confidence easily
9.Does not plan. Does not think ahead
10.Thinks there is a scarcity of opportunities
11.Becomes envious and jealous when others succeed.


Thinking Big:

1.Sees reason why
2.Stays calm under pressure.
3.Helps and encourages
4.Forgives
5.Stays focused
6.Unites people.
7.Controls their emotions
8.Shows faith
9.Plans and sets goals
10.Thinks there is an abundance of opportunity
11.Happy when others succeed



Just think how much we would be able to achieve if we ‘Think Big’.

Quotes from Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955):



Albert Einstein was a German-born theoretical physicist. He is best known for his theory of Relativity and mass-energy equivalence. He won his Nobel Prize in 1921 for the discovery of photo electric effect.

Given below are his famous quotes. Hope you find them inspiring and let it motivate you.

• "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
• "Imagination is more important than knowledge."
• "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."
• "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
• "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
• "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
• "The only real valuable thing is intuition."
• "A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."
• "I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice."
• "God is subtle but he is not malicious."
• "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."
• "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
• "The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility."
• "Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing."
• "Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind."
• "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
• "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
• "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."
• "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
• "Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it."
• "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
• "The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education."
• "God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically."
• "The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking."
• "Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal."
• "Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding."
• "The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible."
• "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
• "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school."
• "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."
• "Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."
• "Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity."
• "If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."
• "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
• "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."
• "Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."
• "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
• "In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep."
• "The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead."
• "Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves."
• "Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!"
• "No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"
• "My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."
• "Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever."
• "The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker."
• "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence."
• "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
• "A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeeded be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."
• "The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge."
• "Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."
• "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."
• "One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year."
• "...one of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought."
• "He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder."
• "A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
• "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."


Acknowledgement: These Albert Einstein quotes have been collected from the webpage of Mr. Kevin Harris.

Demerits of Indian Education system

India aspires to become a superpower and play an important role in the world. To make that happen various loopholes had to be rectified. The bottlenecks we face must be solved in an effective manner. Education system plays an important role for the development of a nation as it enhances the country’s economic growth and technological expertise thereby reducing various social ills such as illiteracy, poverty etc..

What really are the challenges of this education system?

Suppose you go to a student of 12th standard in Chennai and ask a question from the text book, the answer he gives would be identical to that in a text book leaving neither a full stop nor the vocabulary used in that text book. However doesn’t apply to all students but still most of the students (though highly capable) are forced to do so and it has become a norm in their education system. Suppose if there is a mismatch between the answer he gives in the exam and the solution given in the text book, he would be awarded with negative marks(though his concept is correct).They expect him to mug up and give the same answer.The education system in general must be held responsible for this. The Indian education system in general faces this problem.

Isn’t there anyone who succeeded with this education system?

Of course there are people who could shine with this same education system. But we need to accept the fact that they are not the products of this education system. Instead they had inspired themselves. But an education system should make many shine.

What are the steps needed to be incorporated in the future to change this system?

As a matter of fact a revolution is needed to solve this crisis. Students aren’t willing to mug up but their hands are tied. We need to lay emphasis on practical education system wherein students will be able to learn with all the modern technique and equipments available and they need not be a bookworm always. By adopting this modern education system the quality of the education would be improved drastically. There need not be thousands of examination but the students can be assessed by their “points” during the course of one year. They need not be loaded with writing a lot of assignments, but they can be given various project works, seminar works, research paper presentation works. This would make the education livelier and I am damn sure many would love such activities. This would reduce the number of school drop outs. As the students start to love the subject there would be a lot of scientists, entrepreneurs, politicians, etc..


I don’t really blame this system entirely but it would be the best if such changes are adopted. I have only suggested only a few and there are many things which are to be changed.
- To be continued….

How to acheive career success?

We always get a lot of advice regarding how to achieve career success . Some say we must hop jobs frequently and leap to higher positions with every jump . Some suggest that loyalty towards the organisation is crucial to career success and loyal employees have a better chance of moving up the corporate ladder . Others say maintaining good relations with the superiors is crucial to taste quick success . Some even say that in order to go places you have to expand our network of contacts . While the above mentioned are a few roundabout ways of getting where you want to be , here are a few tried & tested strategies that will surely put our career on a fast track :



1. FOCUS ON LEARNING :

Do not wait for your boss or your organisation to identify and sponsor your training needs . Take responsibility for your own learning and skill enhancement .



2. ANALYSE YOUR STRENGTHS :

Find out what you do best and look for opportunities to shine in those areas . Be specific about what you want to be and hone our skills in that direction . Earn certifications in your niche areas .



3. LEARN TO BE A GO-GETTER :

Develop the reputation of being an achiever . Earn the trust of your boss as the most reliable person who can get the job done by overcoming all the obstacles .

4. MATCH JOBS WITH CAREER PLAN :

Choose jobs and projects with care . See that each job helps you develop and use our skills in such a way as to further your career plans

5. LEARN FROM YOUR COLLEAGUES :

Be open to new ideas . Pick up clues on how to to be more creative , innovative and proactive from your colleagues who are highly successful .

6. FIND OPPORTUNITIES TO EXCEL :

Go beyond the call of duty and help our boss solve burning issues . Solving the right problems creates opportunities to get recognised . Your talents when recognised help you move up the career ladder .

7. NEVER GET BORED :

Sustain the passion for your work . Never let the job become stale . Look for new ways of accomplishing things .Expand our horizons , take on new responsibilities , and delegate some routine jobs to others in order to sustain the passion for your job . Passion for work can alone help you reach desired heights in your career .

8.COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY :

Assertiveness is vital for career success . Articulate your ideas and opinions well to make an impact in your organisation . Whether you change jobs or stay put in an organisation , be proactive and never lose focus on your career aspirations .